


Tell Me Your Love Will Never Fade

by YaelaTheWordsmith



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: . . . it's a close call tho, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cop AU, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, NO ONE GETS KILLED I SWEAR, TW for mentions of blood/shooting, and hospitals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26283994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaelaTheWordsmith/pseuds/YaelaTheWordsmith
Summary: In which Tetsurou is reminded of just how fragile life can really be. A soulmate AU where you see colours when you meet your soulmate, and lose them when they leave you - or when they die.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi
Comments: 20
Kudos: 163





	Tell Me Your Love Will Never Fade

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nekoyuki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekoyuki/gifts).



> I'm back with more angst!! A huge thank you to neko for commissioning this ^.^ You can blame all your tears on her hehe  
> Title is from [Colour](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMmwDy-27AM), which is like the happiest possible song for a soulmate AU, but of course I picked the one line that could possibly be sad for the title lol

_Considering how easily your whole world can come crashing down around you,_ Tetsurou thinks, his head in his hands as he sits in a bustling hospital waiting room, _it’s unbelievable that people can live like tomorrow’s going to be exactly like today._

That’s not a mistake he’s going to be making again.

“Kuroo!”

Suga slams the hospital doors open, striding towards Tetsurou with an expression torn between anxiety and almost angry disbelief, a harried Asahi following in his wake.

“Suga, hey.” Tetsurou tries to muster a smile, tries to sit up straight. “You guys made it earlier than I thought you would.”

“Tell me he’s going to be okay.” Suga sits next to him, his gaze nearly pinning Tetsurou to the chair. “He is going to be okay, isn’t he? Because I need to punch the living daylights out of him for fucking - for going and pulling this _bullshit_ -”

“Suga,” Asahi says quietly. “This isn’t easy for Kuroo, okay?”

There’s a potted plant a little way behind Suga, looking a little wilted in the bright light, with pretty purple and white flowers just starting to bloom. At least, Tetsurou thinks they’re actually purple - in the two seconds he glances at them, they fade from pale violet to something closer to dark mauve.

“Yeah, he’s going to be fine, Suga.” It comes out as a whisper, a desperate attempt to deny what he’s seeing. “He has to be.”

“He will,” Asahi says, leaning over to squeeze Tetsurou’s shoulders briefly. The low rumble of his voice provides some small measure of comfort, if only because of its familiarity.

They can all tell he doesn’t dare believe his own words.

***

It’s a completely normal night when it happens, when the first tremors start to rock Tetsuro’s life. He’s just finished his dinner, and he’s sitting curled up in the comfy armchair by the window with a blanket tucked around him and an old novel in his hand, debating whether or not getting himself a bowl of ice cream would distract himself from worrying about Daichi.

Worrying is a strong word, to be honest. Sure, he hasn’t been able to suppress a certain measure of uneasiness, but that’s normal when Daichi’s been assigned a sting operation or stakeout or some other kind of special mission. Having a police officer soulmate would be a lot more worrying if Daichi wasn’t levelheaded and cautious and skilled, a decorated officer three years in a row and a natural leader. So Tetsurou had seen him off at 5:30 in the morning with a brief kiss and a sleepily mumbled goodbye that Daichi had smiled fondly at, not thinking much of the whole thing except being a little embarrassed about the fact that he’s even going to worry at all. Daichi can always handle himself, he’d know that even if the rest of the officers at his station hadn’t told him time and time again.

But then the clock hits 7:49, just as he’s deciding against the ice cream after all, and his vision _shifts_. The disorientation feels like stepping off a carousel, like that split second of having his feet planted on the ground but his head still spinning is being stretched long and thin and tense. It takes him three long seconds to place what’s happened, what’s gone wrong -

\- and when he does, the novel drops from suddenly nerveless fingers.

The colours are fading.

“No,” he whispers in their empty apartment, cold, cold fear shooting up his spine. “No, no, no -”

He lunges at his phone, hands shaking so badly he can barely unlock it -   
  
\- and freezes. What does he do? Who does he call? The station? Or someone likely to be with Daichi? Akaashi? Matsukawa? Tanaka? What if they’re on the field and in danger and can’t answer? If Daichi’s been hurt badly enough that the colours are fading the unit would do their best to get him to a hospital as soon as they could, but how the fuck does he find out which hospital? He doesn’t even know if they’ve been able to call an ambulance yet!

7:50. It’s been a whole minute and he’s still sitting bolt upright in the goddamn armchair, his thoughts whirling like paper boats in a tsunami, when Daichi is out there _dying_ -

He tosses the blanket aside and scrambles to his feet, pausing only to grab a jacket, his wallet and his keys before slamming their apartment door behind him. He digs his phone out again as he hurries down the stairs, almost stumbling twice because he’s looking for Daichi’s station phone number instead of where he’s going. The line's rung five times by the time he’s slid into the driver’s seat of their car.

“Hello, this is -”

“Hinata,” Tetsurou snaps, slamming the keys into the ignition. “Where’s Daichi?”

“Kuroo-san? Uh, Sawamura-san is out right now -”

“I know! And he’s fucking dying, because everything keeps fading to black and white! So tell me where the fuck he is _now_!”

Hinata only hesitates for half a second more. “Give me five minutes.” he says, his voice suddenly crisp and focused. “I’ll find out how he is and call you back.”

“Thanks. I’m on my way to the station -”

“No, don’t. Their location is fairly far from the station, you’d have further to drive if he gets taken to a hospital near there after you drive all the way here. Five minutes, Kuroo-san.”

“God - okay. Fine.”

The line goes dead. Tetsurou tosses the phone into the passenger seat and presses his forehead to the steering wheel, burying white knuckles in his hair. The blue of his jeans is gradually fading as the seconds tick by, getting closer and closer to grey, and right now five minutes seem like an unbearable eternity. It’ll take a while to - to fade entirely at this rate, that’s his only consolation, but Daichi is wounded and bleeding and in pain right now while he’s just stuck sitting here -

 _I might lose him_ , he thinks. _I could actually lose him._

It’s a small, numb thought, strangely at odds with the sheer, frantic terror that’s buzzing under his skin, screaming for him to do something, _anything_. He doesn’t want to think about the worst case scenario in case it comes true, he doesn’t want to think about the best case scenario in case - in case -

“Fuck.” He takes a long, shuddering breath, trying to calm down, but the blue is fading, fading, he can tell even past the tears blurring his vision. Thirty six years old and married for eight years - is that all he’s going to get? The small house they plan to buy in Miyagi after Daichi retires, the dog he was going to adopt as a surprise on Daichi’s birthday, the haircut Daichi promised to give him on Saturday - has it all vanished from his future? Gone up in smoke because of one bullet? Because one person Dachi tried to stop took his life instead?

He grits his teeth against a yell of frustration, the sharp slam of his fist on the dashboard too loud in the stillness of the car. “He’s not going to die,” he says, his reflection glaring back at him in the rearview mirror as his voice breaks. “You can do this. Don’t fucking fall to pieces, don’t you dare. You know that’s the last thing he’d want.”

_What would he want? He’d want me to hold it together until I know what’s happening, but I can’t, Daichi, how can I do that when I don’t know if I’ll see you alive again?_

“ _No_.” He shakes his head once, hard. “I’ll see him, he’ll be fine -”

_\- did he make a will?_

The enormity of that question slams into him with all the weight of a freight train. A will is somehow - somehow more final than anything else, the idea that Daichi _wrote down_ what Tetsurou should do if he died - fuck, fuck, _fuck_ -

His phone rings and he grabs it instantly, answering without sparing the time to look at the caller ID.

“Hinata?”

“It’s me, Kuroo.” Michimiya. Her voice sounds rough, her words curt. Tetsurou can hear a siren in the background. “Daichi’s been hurt, you probably already -”

“Yeah, I know, I - how bad is it?”

“We - don’t know yet. The situation’s de-escalated, the hostages are out safe and we got the guy, but Daichi was hit in the stomach. He’s being put in an ambulance now, he’ll be at Tokyo Metropolitan in fifteen minutes. You should be able to make it in thirty from your house, I think.”

“I’m on my way now,” he says, turning the keys. _Metropolitan, that’s good, Nobuyuki can help._ “Are you and the squad okay? Will I see you there?”

“We’re mostly fine, I -” There’s a faint shout of ‘Captain!” in the background, and she curses. “Sorry, Kuroo, there’s still a lot of shit to get done. I’ll try to get there as soon as I can. I don’t think Suga is in town, but you should get in touch with Asahi and Daichi's parents once you know what’s going on.”

“Yeah, I will. Thank you, Michimiya.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He can hear something of her normal smile. “Take care.”

She cuts the phone. Tetsurou leaves it on the passenger seat and backs the car out, telling himself to focus on driving steadily rather than quickly, that it’s not going to help anyone if he causes an accident or gets hurt on the way to the hospital.

It works about as well as he can expect. The steering wheel and gearshift are a reasonably good distraction from the dark places his mind keeps trying to drag him to, though he has to keep wiping his face in his sleeve when he’s stopped at signals. The worst of it is when his gaze happens to fall on his left hand, the gold band on his ring finger now only a pale lemon yellow, and a sob that escapes him is the most anguished sound he’s ever made in his life.

But he shakes it off as well as he can, he drags his attention back to driving and slams on the accelerator, reaching the hospital in record time. The receptionist is busy typing when he hurries inside, not sparing him a glance when he leans on the counter.

“Hi,” he says, his throat tight. “My soulmate should have been brought in a few minutes ago? Sawamura Daichi, a police officer?”

The receptionist looks up at that, giving him a quick once over, before he snags a couple of sheets of paper from under the desk. “I’ll check his status,” he says, the half-sleepy expression on his face never wavering. “Fill these out, please.”

“I’ll - could you just tell me before I fill them out?”

“Sawamura Daichi?”

“Yes.”

“Um . . . yeah, he was brought in.” The receptionist - Ennoshita, Tetsurou sees on his nametag - types with an ease born of long practice, his fingers flying over the keyboard. “Emergency room, gunshot wound to the stomach, straight to surgery.”

“How - how severe -”

“I really couldn’t say, sir, I’m sorry.”

“Okay, could you tell me the name of the surgeon? I have a friend here, i just want to know if -”

“The surgeon is . . .” Ennoshita taps a key a couple of times. “Kai Nobuyuki.”

“Oh, thank god.” Tetsurou grips the counter tight, his knees going weak from the sheer rush of this small measure of relief. “Okay. Okay.”

Ennoshita gives him a slightly longer look, one that’s surprisingly piercing, and reaches back under his desk. “Here,” he says, handing Tetsurou a pair of shaded glasses. “Put those on, you’ll drive yourself crazy if you keep worrying about how fast or slow the colours are fading. We should know how he’ll be in an hour or two, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“You should let his friends and family know, if they don’t already,” Ennoshita calls after him as he turns away from the counter. “And get someone to come here and keep you company.”

They’re kind words, even if they’re said matter-of-factly, but all Tetsurou can muster in response is a faint smile before he picks up a pen and goes to sit in one of the waiting room chairs. The forms are fairly straightforward, and he takes fifteen minutes to fill them out and give them back before pulling his phone out of his pocket.

 _You’ll be fine_ , he thinks, his thumb hovering over Asahi’s contact. _You can do this. You **need** to do this._

It still takes him a good ten seconds before he manages to tap the phone icon. The dread is creeping back to settle in the pit of his stomach, cold and sick and building with every ring, because he doesn’t want to be the one to do this, how is he supposed to explain to Asahi that Daichi is -

“Hello?”

“Asahi, hey.” His voice cracks, and he clears his throat. “Um, hey.”

“Hey, Kuroo.” Asahi sounds just like he always does, pleasant and pleased to hear from him. “What’s up? Are you outside? It sounds pretty noisy.”

“Yeah, I’m - I’m at Metropolitan. The, uh, the hospital.”

“The hospital? What happened?”

“Uh -” The words feel like they’re drawing blood as they scrape up the inside of his throat. “Daichi is - Daichi got hurt. At work. There was a - a hostage situation, and - he got shot.”

Asahi is silent for a long moment. “Fuck,” he says quietly. “How bad is it?”

_Say it, just say it, you know you’ll feel better, you can do it without crying -_

“It’s - pretty bad. The - Asahi, the colours - I was at home, and everything just started going grey, and I - I don’t know what’s going on, if he’s -”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay, Kuroo, you hear me? I’ll be right there, I’m leaving now.”

“Thank you,” Tetsurou whispers, resting an elbow on his knees and covering his eyes.

“I’ll let Suga know, and Daichi’s parents. Do you want to stay on the phone with me?”

Tetsurou can’t help laughing, though it comes out choked and weak. “You’re a goddamn angel,” he says. “No, I think I can hold it together until you get here. Don’t want you to crash on the way over.”

“Yeah, Daichi would kill me,” Asahi chuckles, and his voice is shaking too. “Okay then, I’ll see you.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you.”

***

There’s a soft, insistent beeping that’s gradually worming its way into Daichi’s awareness. The sound is a little unfamiliar, but he isn’t surprised that a new alarm still doesn’t wake Tetsurou up in the morning.

“T’tsu,” he mumbles, hoping Tetsurou hears it - his throat is really dry and scratchy for some reason. “Y’r ‘larm . . .”

The beeping doesn’t stop, but there’s the sound of a chair scraping and a warm hand takes his.

“Hey.” That’s Tetsurou’s voice, that deep murmur, all low and soft like it is when he’s feeling particularly sappy. “Hey, Dai. God, took you long enough.”

Daichi’s brows draw together as he struggles to get his eyes open, struggles to understand past the fog that’s swirling in his head. What does that mean? And why hasn’t Tetsurou turned off the alarm yet?

“Hey, it’s okay.” There’s a firm touch on his forehead - he’s doing that thing where he smooths out Daichi’s frown with his thumb. “It’s okay, sweetheart, I’m here. Are you hurting anywhere? Do you want me to call the nurse?”

“ . . . Nurse?” He finally manages to open his eyes, blinking against the light. Tetsurou is looking down at him, smiling a little, but . . . but he looks tired, his hair is all messy, and the lights are different from the ones at home.

“Mhm, the nurse. We’re at the hospital.”

“At the - ?”

“Yeah.” Tetsurou’s thumb is still rubbing small, soothing circles on his forehead. “Does it hurt anywhere?”

HIs body feels very, very heavy, and there’s a dull throbbing in his stomach, but it’s not really too bad. “No, I’m okay. I - got hurt?”

“You did.” Tetsurou leans over to help as he tries to push himself up, settling him back against the pillow. “You don’t remember?”

“I . . .” There had been - a kidnapping case? Hostages? Yes, he’d had to leave early today morning because Yui had called him in, and they’d taken most of the day to track them down. The last thing he remembers is getting word that the hostages had been safely retrieved through the back of the house, and he’d stormed the front with Matsukawa, and -

Tetsurou’s hand catches his as he raises it to his stomach. “Not a good idea, Dai,” he says, setting it back down. “Nobu said that would take a while to heal.”

“Kai?” His brain is starting to work faster now, the fog dissipating. “I’m at Metropolitan? I needed surgery?”

“You did, yes. You got shot in the stomach.”

“Shit . . . yeah, I remember - wait, is Matsukawa okay? He got shot at too -”

“Just a graze. He went home hours ago. Michimiya stayed for a while, but she was exhausted, so I kicked her out.”

“What time is it? How long have I been here?”

“It’s . . .” Tetsurou glances at his watch. “4:22 in the morning. You got out of surgery a bit after 9:30.”

Daichi takes a second just to look at him, taking in the circles under his eyes, the way his lower lip has been bitten raw, how the collar of his shirt is crooked and how he hasn’t bothered to put on any deodorant. “You’ve stayed awake all this time, Tetsu?” he says softly.

Tetsurou’s smile is a wry, half-hearted attempt at his usual smirk. “Unbelievable, right?” he says. “Such a generous sacrifice for me to stay awake through the night, waiting for my husband to open his eyes. It’s not like he almost died or anything.”

Daichi squeezes his hand, his heart starting to ache. “Hey, it’s - I didn’t mean -”

“Nobu was really great,” he continues like he hasn’t heard Daichi. His voice is quiet, raw, just a little unsteady. “He had another surgery scheduled right after yours, but he took five minutes to come and talk to me and tell me what he’d done and when we could expect you to wake up and stuff. It really helped, you know? I mean, that was at like 9:45, so Asahi and Suga had already kind of managed to keep me distracted for a while by then - you know, even when the colours started coming back, all it did was just dial down the terror by a couple of notches? I didn’t know anything until Nobu took the time to come by and explain, and sitting in that waiting room with nothing to do but worry if you’d be okay or not was a really special kind of hell.”

“Tetsu -”

“You should have seen the way Suga burst through the doors, I’ve never seen him that frantic. For once it was Asahi trying to keep him calm, which makes sense, because he’d just travelled six hours to Tokyo to surprise everyone with a visit when hey, Asahi calls him to let him know that one of his oldest friends is currently dying and he needs to get to the hospital as soon as he can, so. I don’t even know how Asahi managed to deal with both of us, I’m sure he wanted to just knock us out at one point. I saw his face once Suga fell asleep on his shoulder though, and you know, I don’t think I’ll forget how he looked for a long time. They’re both still here, by the way, they just went for a walk to stretch their legs after like four hours spent sitting by your bed. They should be back pretty soon.”

“Okay, I -”

“And calling your parents wasn’t fun at all, god. They’ll be here in the morning, and your brother’s going to try to make it to Tokyo by tomorrow evening. Shimizu’s coming too, and Yakkun, and your whole squad wants going to show up and throw you some kind of party for surviving, the way Michimiya described it, so that’ll be fun -”

“Tetsurou?”

“Mhmm?” He’s looking down at the bed, his hair hiding his eyes, and Daichi’s starting to lose some of the feeling in his hand from how tightly he’s holding it.

“Could you look at me?”

He’s still for a long moment before he finally looks up, biting his lip. He’s crying, tears coursing steadily down his cheeks.

“Come here,” Daichi says, raising a hand to his face and guiding him forward. He tucks his forehead into Daichi’s neck with a quiet sniffle, and Daichi strokes his back gently, trying to ignore how weak his arms feel.

“Sorry,” Tetsurou mumbles against his skin. “You’re the one who just went through surgery and everything, I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have - I shouldn’t be -”

“You’re allowed to be upset, sweetheart,” Daichi murmurs, kissing the top of his head lightly. “It hurt pretty damn badly when it happened, but I was out five minutes after they put me in the ambulance. You were the one scared for so long, not me.”

Tetsurou pushes himself back upright, wiping his eyes in his sleeve with a quick, impatient motion, like he’s done it too many times to count. “Upset doesn’t even begin to cover it, Dai,” he says, hoarsely. His voice is really shaking, now. “I’ve never been so scared. You’ve been an officer for so long, it’s not the first time you’ve been hurt, but I have never, _ever_ had the colours start to fade. When you were in surgery the receptionist gave me these glasses so I wouldn’t keep trying to figure out how you were based on how bright the colours were, but I didn’t even use them, I just sat staring at this plant in the corner, watching the flowers go from purple to grey and back again. They damn near faded to black once, and I gripped Asahi’s arm so tight I probably drew blood. Nobu told me later that your blood pressure dropped really low towards the end of the surgery, I guess that’s what it was. And I just - it was so terrifying, god -”

“I’m so sorry,” Daichi murmurs, leaning forward to kiss him. Tetsurou lets go of his hand to cradle his face carefully, like he’s something unbearably delicate, and holds him until he finally pulls away.

“I’m sorry, Tetsu,” he says again, letting his forehead rest against Tetsurou’s. “You shouldn’t have had to go through that.”

“I don’t want you to apologize for doing your job,” Tetsurou whispers, closing his eyes. Tears are still welling up, still spilling over, falling onto Daichi’s cheeks. “For saving people. For someone else hurting you. But I never - I don’t know how I never realized that you could be taken from me any day, by anyone who happens to have a gun.”

“I won’t be,” Daichi whispers back, tears starting to prickle behind his own eyes now. “I’m not going anywhere - this isn’t something that’s going to happen regularly, I’ve been on the force for ten years now and this is the first time, right?”

“One time is one too many, Dai. And you can’t promise me it won’t happen again, can you?”

“Of course I can’t, but you know I’m always careful, you know how good the squad is -”

“I know, but - that’s not enough anymore. Ask Michimiya to transfer you to desk duty, or have you just coordinating missions instead of being out in the field, anything so you’re not in the line of fire.”

“Tetsu, the best way for me to avoid being in the field is to work hard enough to get promoted to captain. Michimiya is already thinking of transferring, and -”

Tetsurou’s fingers curl in his hair, tight and trembling, and Daichi sighs quietly. “We can talk about it later,” he murmurs. “When we’re at home, when I’m feeling better. Okay?”

Tetsurou nods a little, his eyes still shut. “If you ever make me go through this kind of shit again, Daichi,” he says, “I’ll stab you myself the second you wake up in the hospital bed. You hear me?”

Daichi can’t help laughing, despite the sharp burst of pain it sends shooting through his stomach. “Duly noted,” he says. “Tetsu, I can’t promise you I’ll never get hurt again, or that you’ll never have to worry again, but - but I promise you’ll never go back to black and white. I’ll do anything I have to so that doesn’t happen. I’m never leaving you, okay?”

“Yeah?” Tetsurou murmurs, leaning forward. “Tell me that when you’re on permanent desk duty.”

Daichi’s laugh gets lost in his mouth, and they kiss long and slow until Asahi and Suga come back in and Daichi has to break away to answer their surprised and delighted exclamations.

He’s back home in five days, back at the station in three months, and back in the field in six. They get their dog, an excitable and energetic little thing whom they fall in love with at first sight. She follows Tetsurou around the house the whole day when Daichi has his next field mission, like she’s just as worried as he is. But Daichi comes home without a scratch, kissing them both soundly as soon as he steps through the door, teasing Tetsurou gently even as he wipes his relieved tears away for him.

And he keeps his promise. He makes captain within the year and superintendent in ten years, his worst injury during the course of his long and successful career is nothing more than a broken ankle, and Tetsurou never once sees the colours fade again.

They get their house in Miyagi, too. They plant a garden with all the prettiest plants they can think of, they keep a room open for any of their friends to come by and stay as long as they like, they go for long walks through the rice fields every weekend and drink steaming tea together at sunset every evening, and their twilight years are richer and more fulfilled than many people dream of.

Daichi is the one who spends a little over a month in the house alone in the end, alone with their garden and the sunset and the framed photos of their dogs all in black and white. But he manages to find his way back to Tetsurou again soon enough, because how could he stay behind without him?

And the colours come flooding back as soon as he walks into his arms, bright and dazzling, and of course they’re beautiful. But they’re nothing compared to Tetsurou’s smile as he murmurs, “Took you long enough, Dai,” and bends to kiss him soundly.

**Author's Note:**

> CAN I HAVE A HECK YEAH FOR CAPTAIN YUI AND SURGEON KAI  
> (what if they were dating . . . omg this is going to take me down a whole rabbit hole)  
> Thank you for reading! Constructive criticism and any kind of feedback is always massively appreciated. You can find me [here](https://yaelathewordsmith.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr and [here](https://twitter.com/writer_yaela) on Twitter for commission info or just to chat! <3


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